*†Åî뤆* ~~ Jesus Christ is my hero...

2:21am: Thoughts
Fuck, shit, ass, bitch, cock, motherfuckin shit banana waffle, damn, crack smoking vagina blister face.

Excuse me, i sneezed.

4:52pm: umm
i think i feel it getting to me... already? maybe it's something else, but i do wish it's not that either. I know a lot of it has to do with me being so tired and exhausted, but i feel something deeper brewing, i just hope i'm wrong. i'm supposed to finish a happy poem sometime today... i don't know how i'm gonna pull that off. I can write alright, i just can't match the style i started the poem with right now.
That is why i hate writing something then stopping and writing more later, because my style is different and i end up with something that either does not match or is bipolar.

I just feel weird; and the sad thing is, i remember this feeling. I thought i had forgotten it, but i remember. I knew that i was bound to feel it again, i just don't know why i am at this point in time. I really do hope it will go away once i get some rest. I don't know what else to say. Just not a happy person today. I need candy from strangers.

5:33pm: lol
these computers in the engineering lab are stripped down of almost any way of getting into the actual computer. Like, you can't right click on anything but a webpage and there are only about 6 programs in the start menu... and they have made things unaccessable from a browse state, and its impossible to get into the task menu lol, this... will be a challenge.

8:08pm: 1 day down
man you know there is a deadjournal.com, its so stupid, like livejournal and myspace isn't emo/goth filled already and depressing past any bearable standards. gah, stupid emo kids. i'd bitch slap you...twice.

1:25am: Ok so umm i'm going to be really busy this week for anyone who wants to know, i just got off work at midnight, tommorow i have to get up early and go in to pick up a check for a scholarship, print my resume for use on thursday, have it critiqued/make changes and print another 20 copies and throw the other 20 away. Go in for tutoring before this dinner i have to go to at 4 30, and at 6 i have math class, yay full day for me.

Thursday have to go to the career fair, study for my math exam and then go and take it at 7. Who studies before the exam date cmon?

Friday i have to go to an MEP reception for some stupid crap and then go for a fun night of games and movies at my to be fraternity house.

As soon as my middle finger gets old to me i will change it because its my user pic everywhere lol, i just love my middle finger, look at it, look like a million tiny little middle fingers are raining down on you doesn't it, DOESN'T IT!

3:49pm: College
Is easy for now, enough talk of school.

Im alone in my dorm, thats kool, its like my own lil place to twist and distort to my own desire.

Im about to head back to the city again, i am planning to go there as close to every weekend as i can, until my car breaks down lol, i might get a new one before it breaks down, but i dunno i need a job first.

i like this part, and the verse before that

Eminem:
See I'm a poet to some
A regular
Modern day Shakespeare
Jesus Christ the
King of these
Latter Day Saints here
To shatter the picture
In which of that
As they paint me
As a monger of hate and
Satan a scatter-brained atheist
But that ain't the case
See it's a matter of taste
We as a people decide
If Shady's as bad
As they say he is
Or is he the ladder
A gateway to escape?
Media scapegoat
Who they can
Be mad at today
See it's easy as cake
Simple as whistlin' Dixie
While I'm wavin' the pistol
At sixty Christians against me
Go to war with the Mormons
Take a bath with the Catholics
In holy water
No wonder they try
To hold me under longer
I'm a motherfuckin' spiteful
Delightful eyeful
The new Ice Cube
Motherfuckers hate to like you
What did I do?
(Huh?)
I'm just a kid
From the gutter
Makin' this butter
Off these bloodsuckers
'Cause I'm a muh'fuckin'
RENEGADE

so umm i dunno, i cut my lip on the blow pop, i miss Galaxia a lil too much.
My legs still hurt from playing soccer for 2 and a half hours wednesday, it was really fun though. i found my car, i din no where it was last night, i gotta do laundry. i think i bought too much stuff from Walmart, only thing im worried about is the bread going bad lol. o well so what if it does. I need to start working out sometime, when my legs heal, it hurts to walk, im good now but i wanna see if i can gain weight. ima eat a lot and work out, lol, get that "freshman 15". I need a flatscreen monitor mines huge and bulky. alright, later everyone.

2:49pm: Prom
go to partypics.com enter password johnmarshall then pick john marshall party pics, images 81-120 third row down first 2 pictures i look clean huh. Galaxia looks sexxxy. Also you can go back and pick john marshall prom 2006 and see a picture of me and her last row on page 3 first picture but its small and dark i have the good pictures i have a huge one lol. They look really good. I told her that if one of us or both was to die in a horrbile accident that is the picture they would put in the newspaper, she told me i was morbid. So yea, if you wanna see my prom. It was kool we had a chocolate fountain. I got in a car crash after prom, im ok.

i gradute on the 24th, gotta make a speach, i dun think ima write one, i think ima just come up with something smart and witty and spontaneous... on second thought, i better write something.

Yay finally done with all the stupid AP tests, 4 is too much, i know i passed 2, might have passed 3, bombed calculus cause i slept though it, just bubbled, cause my calc teacher sucks and there are 2 classes in 1 and we get taught 10 min a day...2 days a week cause there were 5 of us. so it was gay, and i dun like him, i was about 2 slap him... a few times, and then he stoped saying my name.

They had me take this foreign person test cause i speak 2 languages, it was so stupid, i took the reading and never went back for the writing, it was insulting, it was degrading, i was in a room full of mexicans, and the questions were like... they gave you a sentence

"anna baked cookies"

then they were like
what did anna do?
it was multiple choice.

mom came back from Romania yesterday, haven't seen her yet cause shes not at their house right now, which is where i am. And yesterday i didn't work so i didn't wanna come over here after 7 when they got home, cause i was home and i was having fun. lol.
i put 2 much hot sauce on my fish last night, cause Galaxia likes hot sauce so i was like ima try some, but i put a ton, its not that bad though, not like peppers, the spicy taste doesn't stay in your mouth for a very long time. It was burning really bad for a lil though.
o yea tommorow i get my cap and gown, i forgot. I gotta have my mom go to the school and excuse my absences lol. or i won't graduate... well i prolly would n e way, but still. dun wanna risk it. k ima stop talking now, dun forget about the pictures. lol later

2:30pm: Ok fine
im gonna update cause of the stupid nudge lol. Whats going on with me? Wellllll my realtionship is going great im with Galaxia almost 2 months now. School is going good but i still need to see about getting accepted and stuff. I just came back from state academic decathlon competition in which we kinda sucked but it was pretty fun. Im kinda hating school though and i can't wait to graduate. Im about to move out of here pretty soon like by the end of this month i think it should be or beg of next month. Still working at Subway lol. thats about it... yea my life is not pretty interesting, not anything i would put down here anyway. =P

1:54pm: my bday
19, yay.

9:40pm: LALALA
I could rant forever right now... but i won't, the topic would be one im not ready to, make public yet? lol

I'm so tired, too bad i can't post any of my new poems on here, they are good.

I dun even know why i posted i really dun feel like thinking.

Sometimes i think i'm over it, and things might be getting better, then i get the feeling that's the reason why i had to let go.

And as i post this my day just got better. I don't like it that there is only one thing person that makes me happy, and that only something involving that person, even a thought makes me happy. Then again, it's pretty awesome. Cause it's not normal happiness, and at least im happy sometime.

8:44pm: Life Update
Umm, still working at subway, almost quit a few times but im still there and things are going good.
Doing good in school, surpisingly keeping up with my work, im actually doing HW this year, hoping to bump to at least 3rd in class but the stupid foreign people are in front of me.
Nothing really really exciting going on, i have made a few new friends and lost contact with old ones.
I have decided to go to OU next year, at least for a year.
I am single right now... its been a while.

I think that's about it.
Fuck bees.

6:15am: Im alive...
Wow i haven't updated in a while... My week is kinda busy since i started school
I'm taking 4Ap classes, Classes at OCU and i have a job and a long distance relashionship... so my time i pretty much taken up.

I don't even have time to think... thats why it takes me forever to fall asleep, cause i have to think about everything i didn't think about that day, takes an hr or 2 lol. And then i wake up all not rested and stuff... and start over... butttttt annnnyyyway.

I wish i still had time for writing... i write maybe a lil here and there, usually at work. But not really. Im 2 busy doing hw at work lol.

im @ school right now, lunch is next and im pretty hungry, but yea, i want this school year to be over... and i am not looking forward too taking the Act again, i dunno why im doing it, i guess its for personal reasons lol, and i have to take the SAT and 4 AP tests.... yay. k ima go, later

1:39am: Ello Everyone

Ello. My hello of today.

btw, it's Tiffany again. *nods*

Alex kissed my nose when we were making out..well like..spit on it=\? Idk..his mouth is huge compared to mine..

We went to the mall and Alex got non-baggy pants and DC shoes..he looks sexy when he wears the correct size..=)

We saw Willy Wonka heck yes! it was funny.

Oh Monte, Fantastic 4 was awesome, yup. *Note 2 self: make movie plans with Monte ahead of time*

I really want to see the devils rejects and wedding crashers alsooo

Goodbye.

2:54pm: It's Tiffany aaagaain

Shh...he doesn't know I'm updating..

Everything is going fine we are babysitting his sisters 2day and 2morrow then we are gonna go to White Water.

He got me this reeeallly pretty ring for my birthday it's gold then has a silver heart in the middle and a diamond..i loves it

I can not stay so I will go..lol

Bye Bye

I love you Alex=)

11:18am: Tiffanys Here
Tiffanys here and she's so awesome. I love her so much.

Im gonna take her to the mall and buy her anything she wants=).

K=/ it's Tiffany updating lol but I'm sure Alex agrees with eeeeeverything said.

Okie, Bye now.

3:27am: Its late
3 30 am, lol, i can't sleep, umm, i will sleep tho dun wry, i want Tiffany 2 hurry up and get here, my mom almost freaked out but she finally gave in and allowed me to not have to call and reschedule the stay for only 2 weeks, that woulda sucked big hairy ass.

so i messed up on EQ2, went to TS and got raped by the giants, now i have 46 exp debt... stupid healer, its 46 and i can't even get my shard because of aggro in the way, its 46 because i tried getting my shards.. but there is aggro in the way, i have 2 shards missing, i died like 6 times getting them both to be close to each other, i like ran and got it and ran a lil farther lol, yea i got owned so bad. So now tommorow i have to do that and get out of debt, seriously, debt sucks, i need a creditor, and then my stupid guild wouldn't even buff us, me and this other guy in the guild were grouped, thats messed up, i din even ask he did, i hate that guild, fuck them, ima find another guild. I also need a tailor to make me armor, i think i fount one. I finally hit 21 today, i knew i would, but then i had to go and die, o and i died so much all my armor is useless, so now i have to go and fix that before i even attemt to recover my shards. "sigh" and there are giants standing in between me and my shards, as well as an army of Gnolls and skellies, and my invis isn't strong enough to protect me, their all 24-27 heroics, i can take maybe a lvl 18 or 19 heroic single, stupid giant mobs, i dun even know what i was doing there, it was a lot easier with a group, and not in THAT part of steepes. Stupid giant raped us, thats ok i'll get my shards back. But if i call of Quinos and start from a different place then only the giants are in the way. Im the size of its toe. At least i killed that stupid named i've been wanting 2 kill, Lord of something, we owned him.

So that sucks about Michal Jackson, o well hes gonna die soon. And hes poor now.

I dun like Turks, or anyone from that side of the world really, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, its cause im Romanian and we fought against them to take control of our country.

*************************HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANY***************************
^^^I Love You^^^

1:37pm: You decide
Ok so Yesterday night i tried to buy a plane ticket for Tiffany, i tried to purchase it but my card was declined cause i had not activated it, because i activated this one card but i have 2 cards, one with my picture on it and one without and i tried using the one with my picture on it, so then it charged me 5 dollars for declining and i was sooo mad and frustrated cause i din no if i was gonna be able to buy it, and also the time available was a little 2 late, so i prayed for Him to help me out.

So then i get back on today and i use the other card, not only does it work, the flight i fount was 100 dollars cheaper and at an earlier time. Thank You God.


So Tiffany is coming here on the 23rd.

Im playing EverQuest 2, its pretty kool, im only lvl 10, i have a long way 2 go lol, im a mage, sorcerer, i was gonna be a summoner but i like working in groups.

k later, i love you baby :-P

1:37pm: Eminem concert
150 bucs for VIP package in dalas texas, lol, 7/28/05, hmm, Tiffany, if you wanna go we might be able to go to that, cause u'll be here at that time. that would be pretty kool, its 3 and a half hours away but its like really easy to get there, you get on I35 and go 160 miles lol, and your there basically. n e one else that wants to go save up 200 bucs in 2 months and u can go with us lol, thats all it costs, well plus whatever money you want for food, so you should bring like 250, which isn't that much cause i mean 2 mo is a long time. 50 cent, eminem, and the eastsideboyz will be there. i no monte wants 2 go.

5:22pm: umm
everything is kool, been working a lot, umm, school is over on the 6th of next month for me =D, yayayay, thats so kool, B-) oooo yea, ok umm what else, i dunno, i have a headache, and umm ok later.

7:11pm: Another QUIZOR
stolen from ebonyvortexor

You scored as Lawful Good. A lawful good person acts as a good person is expected or required to act. They are dedicated to upholding both what is right and what is set down in law. </td> Lawful Good 75% Neutral Good 65% True Neutral 65% Chaotic Good 65% Chaotic Neutral 40% Lawful Neutral 30% Lawful Evil 25% Neutral Evil 25% Chaotic Evil 15% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

6:22pm: Comment stats
( See my comment statistics )

11:05pm: Something to help
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

i know i tell people that they can tell me n e thing,
i also know that most people have at least a few huge things that they keep bottled up inside, they might seem huge when they are really not, one thing the devil uses and that he is really good at, is making us feel lonely, like we are the only ones going through that, we are not.

it is human to be selfish... ignorant... flawed. but i, for one, will never judge anyone who will come forward and confess their sins with their mouth. No matter what i say about some groups, no matter how i may seem to act, one thing i have learned never to do is judge. When i make fun of someone for, say, sexual orientation, i am not "judging" them, i am simply finding it humorous. In most cases i believe that shame is stronger than sin, shame is what stops us from confessing, and i believe shame will make us stop whatever it is we are doing that we do not like.

Shame is not something bad, it is good to have shame, be humbeled, i myself believe i am getting to cocky for my own good. Never-the-less, my point was, you can send your secret there, but if you would prefer to pick up the phone, your secret is safe with me.

Remember, ANYTHING you are going through is NORMAL, the more abnormal you believe yourself, the more normal you probably are. The norm for normal, as one would say, is facing human problems, you lose only when you choose to stop caring, when you choose to stop fighting.

Personally, my belief in God and the fact that i have love in my life, has kept me going and has made me who i am today. Without either of the two i would have been... different. So much so i would have become everything i have come to dispise. I still have to fight things every day, things that go on in my head, things that go on around me, yet these fights are getting increasingly easier.

The only thing i wish is that people would be more understanding, i wish that from time to time, everyone would stop and think, "how did my mom FEEL when i talked to her like that" "what was going on in her head" "what happened to her today?". People take things so personal, they are so quick to defend themselves, so quick to make descisions that will have a negative affect on others, so quick to insult. Because its funny. And what is life without humor? A mundane form of excistence indeed. Yet the humorists have overlooked the other side, the people that never smile, the people who go home everyday and cry because other have laughed at their expense. These people plot revenge in their heads every day, every night, they can think of nothing else but hate, and it drives them to great lengths.

So stop, and think next time. How do you feel?

Im so tired, physically and mentally, i have to do things in 2 days i deem impossible, write an AP essay and do 2 outlines while working the whole day Saturday and half a day Sunday. I know that somehow, everything will be ok. It's hard to stay so positive, esspecially taking a shower, i find that that is the place where i think the most, its calming, the water, and its easy to get lost in thought. I don't understand why things happen, and i don't understand why people act the way they do, but i know there is a reason, and trying to figure out why people act the way they do, why God makes the choices He makes, is impossible, there is only one thing i will ever be sure of, ONE thing i will ALWAYS know as truth, in my heart.

God is watching me, and He is protecting me, by His will and Christ's deed, i am set free.

And i will always find that to be selfevident.

Remember, you can not say you do not believe in God if you believe you are going to hell.
Remember that thing in your heart that tells your to help that homeless person, that tells you to help the slow person with the HW, that tells you to pick up that pen that person dropped, remeber that every time you feel the feeling of Love, Generosity, the feeling to Forgive someone, that is the Holy Spirit.

Now i have to go to bed, God bless you.

12:55am: LALALA
I would have much rather spent my day off sick, i mean really, :sigh:

that way i woulda had something 2 think about and i woulda prolly slept better.

i dunno.

11:49am: lalala
Yea umm, i feel better today, still can't eat that much but im getting there, then again, i never could really eat that much =/

Im gonna miss Tiffany today, but umm i dunno, it will be ok.

Im prolly gonna clean my room and um do the shakespear paper thing, and after that hour passed... lol

it kinda sucks i missed 3 days of school.

now im gonna go, later.

8:24pm: Umm
umm i've still been busy working and everything, something really kool happened this morning, yesterday i worked till like 12 cause they forgot to make bread and everything, but yea n e way when i woke up yesterday i was really tired, and my body hurt all over, then i worked again yesterday from 5-12 and then when i went 2 bed at like 3 i prayed 2 God that my body would not hurt in the morning... and it din, it was so weird cause the day before i woke up and everything hurt so bad and i was grumpy but then i work more and it doesn't hurt lol. =)

but umm yea today kinda sucked, like i had a really good morning, and it was ok at work, and then i got home again and everything is just blah, and im getting a headache. I dunno i feel like really sad for some reason, but umm yea...

I think i put in a lot of hours this week i dunno, we are getting payed friday tho, i still gotta work monday 4-9 but im off Tuesday, i had 2 close 3 days in a row, it was ok though, when i closed Friday it was like the busyest day in History, and Saturday me and johnathan (who shoulda got off at 9) both worked till 12, which was the most in history lol, known history of that subway n e way, which is all that matters. It was crazy though, Friday i din get outta there till 11 30, and he got out at 10 30, he was supposed 2 leave at 9 and me at 10 30. But like i said, i din really care. It just sucks when it starts sucking when i get home.

Cause then it's like why do i even come home, or why do i even work if there is no point, i dunno. I just kinda feel like im about 2 cry, ofcourse i won't but still.

I was really hungry and there was no food so i asked my parents if they were hungry and they said yes and i went 2 subway and got food, lol, they were like what are you doing here, lol.

K, i will just go back to life now, and hw, and school tommorow, goobye.